FANDOM


How to use better grammar. So today I'm going to critique some "creepypastas" and shit. If I make a mistake don't be scared to tell me, I'm just trying to help people. Also note that the text is in italics if it is the persons original copy. 

FACT: This was part of my dream.

First of all no one cares this is a dream, just saying. Also no need for FACT:

Hampton was inside my dream when i was bored on roblox, anyways I thought it was real. 

This sentence was confusing overall. How could you be dreaming if you're on roblox, or are you dreaming while thinking you were on roblox? You should be more specific on what is going on. Also lowercase i should be I. 

 I found a fun RPG on Frontpage and Clicked it, it loaded. And the place was quiet, dead quiet nothing but me and buildings.

First of all frontpage should be front page, also lowercased, you should also use lowercase for Clicked and And. And shouldn't be a start of a sentence, you should use it for commas only. "And the place was quiet, dead quiet nothing but me and buildings." You should use and between quiet and dead, not a comma. Also what is the point of the second comma? 

 I decided to play around because i was bored and when I jumped i got possessed. By a Disney Infinity style character reffering to herself as "Hampton". 

You need an uppercase i and remove the period between possessed and By. You don't need quotation quotes around Hampton by the way. What is reffering? Do you mean referring?

I was Scared to death, my character looked like a kogama character with the legs rectangular and stuck together, with two bodies.

No need for Scared to be capitialized. Kogama should be capitialized because it is a subject. No need for the comma at the end.

 I wondered "What the heck is she doing?". I was back to normal and about 50 players joined and we chatted together.

You don't need to quote yourself if you're thinking to yourself. However you are quoting wrong. Also how did the game go back to normal? What happened to her? 

For part 1 I believe you could fix a lot of errors. Is english your first language? You should read your story over to see if you see any mistakes. 

Rating:

Grammar: 1.5/5

Spelling: 4

Creepiness: 1

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.